Mentumer
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One thing to keep in mind…flogging with metal requires a careful assessment of the bottom’s abilities and the top’s abilities in flogging. The metal in the case of mine can open someone right up if desired. Or it can be frozen and draped over them for sensation play. You can actually flog with it, it just requires precision fine-tuned control as it could easily get out of hand much more so than leather.
Here is one company I think is rather unique, OhMiBod, but maybe there are other manufacturers with sound activated vibrators and vibrators that can be controlled by an iPhone App.
So my former pet looked into getting one so that when we had phone sex together she could literally get off on my voice as she could plug the vib into her phone along with a headset so we could talk and the vibrator would react to my voice.
http://www.ohmibod.com/products/index.php
There are also remote control vibs and eggs from this manufacturer but I have not tried the other products.
Mine was a bit of both. Premeditated, but I requested it to be a surprise. He had set up the bed with straps, and at some point during the week, he was supposed to capture me, take me to his home, tie me down while I struggled and fought back, just to make it exciting. After I was bound, I was punished when I struggled, either slapped or choked. We had a safe word to ensure trust and practiced it before. I must admit, it was the greatest experience of my life.
Just remember that being a Slave, Submissive, Bottom, or what have you does not entail being a doormat nor a rug. Do yourself proud and you will do those who you serve proud.
If you are an anime fan, look up “The Fencer of Minerva” miniseries for one good example.
I use the terms “primary” and “secondary” to talk about degrees of life entanglement. For me, a primary is like a spouse or partner – someone you live with and share major decisions with. A secondary is like a boyfriend or girlfriend – doesn’t mean you love them less but you probably have separate finances and living space.
With that being said I don’t usually say “My secondary X…” I just say boyfriend, or girlfriend, or sweetheart, or whatever.
I have also seen – and like – the terms “domestic” and “feral” poly to talk about whether you have a live-in relationship.
